


a hundred emails, unread (and a messy family, found)

by and_hera



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Banter, Canon Compliant, Chatting & Messaging, Friendship, Getting Together, M/M, Pre-Canon, Sibling Love, a vaguely codependent friendship at that, kind of, no beta we die like the son of god when he falls of the roof of a burger king
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23639596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/and_hera/pseuds/and_hera
Summary: from:jack.wright@1090.orgto:sammy.stevens@1090.org, lily.wright@1090.orgsubject:groceries:(sent from my iPhoneor, choppy emails and stupid texts become a lifeline.
Relationships: Ben Arnold & Sammy Stevens, Ben Arnold/Emily Potter, Jack Wright & Lily Wright, Sammy Stevens & Lily Wright, Sammy Stevens/Jack Wright
Comments: 27
Kudos: 105





	1. a phenomenal journalist and two repressed gays walk into a radio station,

**Author's Note:**

> so i am now obsessed with another gay podcast!  
> and yes, it's 2020, but i'm gonna write a chatfic anyway. the character dynamics in this show are made for messaging and it's so fun!  
> i have no idea how radio stations work, so if i fuck something up, my apologies, but i hope you enjoy! this fic will just be me writing out-of-order snippets of canon whenever i feel like it.  
> i hope you enjoy xoxo

**from:** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**subject:** groceries

i’m going to the store what do you fuckers* want

*lily

sent from my iPhone

**from:** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**subject:** groceries

why email. just text us like human beings samuel . also i am offended,

sent from my Android

**from:** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**subject:** groceries

i’m not texting in that android groupchat (@ lillian wright). it’s terrible. i don’t want green texts. tell me what you want or i’m only getting vegetables

sent from my iPhone

**from:** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jackwright@1090.org) **,** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**subject:** groceries

first of all my name literally isn’t lillian but no need to be drastic fuckboy get me chocolate and like three gallons of milk

sent from my Android

**from:** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**subject:** groceries

lily you’re lactose intolerant

sent from my iPhone

**from:** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**subject:** groceries

and?

sent from my Android

**from:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org) **,** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**subject:** groceries

sam can u get me a frozen pizza

sent from my iPhone

**from:** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**subject:** groceries

first of all lily i will get one (1) gallon of milk because i know jack always wants the bone juice anyway. jack frozen pizza is a menace to food i will not get you one

sent from my iPhone

**from:** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**subject:** groceries

:(

sent from my Android

**from:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org) **,** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**subject:** groceries

:(

sent from my iPhone

**from:** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**subject:** groceries

i hate this fucking family

**angel, annoyance**

8:23 p.m.

 **angel:** guys i emailed u both the schedule for tonight

 **annoyance:** thank you jack

yes thank you jack it’s appreciated :^)

 **angel:** see now take that energy and use it for good

 **angel:** sammy say something nice about lily

 **annoyance:** i will do nothing of the sort

 **angel:** fine lily be the bigger person say something nice about sammy

sammy you’re good at annoying me

 **angel:** cannot stand u two

 **annoyance:** :(

 **angel:** how dare you

yeah sammy don’t use your “cute boyfriend rights” or whatever the fuck

8:41 p.m.

 **annoyance:** don’t know what you’re talking about

that suspicious gap of time suggests differently

you’re fucking with me tho. no way

 **angel:** sammy u owe me ten dollars i TOLD u she would notice within 48 hours

 **annoyance:** this is bullshit

WHAT

YOU’RE FUCKING WITH ME

 **annoyance:** ok fine yeah we’re just messing with you

 **annoyance:** in other news

 **annoyance:** don’t come home right now 

**annoyance:** idk where you went but

no.

my sweet baby brother is not dating sammy fucking stevens

i refuse to accept this

8:54 p.m.

oh fuck you i’m never returning to the apartment again i did not need to see that

[EXCERPT OF THE 1090 AM SHOW, OCTOBER 6, 2011]

SAMMY STEVENS

You know, I really do hate doing the sports bits.

LILY WRIGHT

(dripping with sarcasm) Whatever could you mean? You, an absolute beanpole of a man, don’t enjoy talking about sports you’ve never played before in your life?

STEVENS

I am offended, I actually played soccer in high school!

L. WRIGHT

 _I_ played soccer in high school. And college. You would have gotten trucked.

JACK WRIGHT

You know I hate to disagree with you, Sam-

STEVENS

Much appreciated-

J. WRIGHT

But she’s right. Soccer is a lot of shoving and I’m afraid you wouldn’t have lasted ten minutes.

STEVENS

...It’s possible that I played my freshman year and only made JV.

L. WRIGHT

Nothing wrong with JV! How many minutes did you average, though?

STEVENS

...Fifteen.

[laughter from both Wrights and, though reluctant, Stevens.]

L. WRIGHT

Like I said. You don’t _do_ sports, Stevens.

J. WRIGHT

I’m obliged to agree with her.

STEVENS

What is this, bully Sammy night?

L. WRIGHT

Isn’t that every night, though?

J. WRIGHT

Don’t worry, Sammy, Lily and I do enough sports to make up for you.

L. WRIGHT

Well, not anymore.

J. WRIGHT

Whatever. It also means that we are much stronger than you, so, prepare for trouble-

L. WRIGHT

And make it double.

STEVENS

Jesus, don’t bring Pokemon into this, too.

J. WRIGHT

I’m sorry. I can excuse not enjoying sports. But you don’t like _Pokemon_?

STEVENS

I didn’t say that. Just- that threw me _violently_ back to when I was like, ten, and the show came out and I was _obsessed_ with it.

L. WRIGHT

Weren’t we all? I remember I always made fun of Jack for liking it-

J. WRIGHT

You did, and I’m still upset about it-

L. WRIGHT

But really, I liked it just as much as he did, so I would sit on the couch with him and tease him for liking it but _wow_ I was invested.

J. WRIGHT

Wait, for real?

STEVENS

While I’m invested in the Wright siblings family backstory, did you guys have the cards too? I always wanted them but never was able to buy them.

J. WRIGHT

Oh my God, we had them. Lily would make deals with kids at school and get them, or steal them, we had so _many_. I probably still have them in a box somewhere-

L. WRIGHT

Woah, woah, woah, don’t ignore the fact that you were a part of this too, _Jackie_. I wouldn’t have been able to get them all without your help-

J. WRIGHT

Hey, let’s not talk about my thievery as a child while on the air, yeah?

L. WRIGHT

You _just_ told everyone that I literally stole Pokemon cards!

STEVENS

(laughing) On that note, I think we’ll cut to a break real quick to pay the bills, we’ll be back in a bit!

[END EXCERPT]

**jack**

4:20 a.m.

sammy

i can’t believe you scheduled a break just so you could text me at 4:20

are you surprised, though?

not at all

what’s up

can a man not text his boyfriend at 4:20 without having a reason?

i can see you blushing sam 

is it because i called you my boyfriend

that’s enough of that. anyway

whatever you say

i was actually going to ask if you want to go to dinner tonight

and you had to ask me this now?

i would have forgotten

you made the schedule. could you not have asked me before we went on the air? why now?

.

what

i wanted to make a reservation at 4:20 tonight

you are a child

what does that make you?

my god, jack, why would you go there

don’t act like you’re not laughing

i can’t stand you

not what you said last night

i’m sure that’s what lily wished i said last night

we did tell her not to come home, not like it’s our fault

no no, anything that makes lily want to die is great in my book

that’s what made last night great, then?

commercial break’s almost over, better turn off your phone

alright :)

**lils, sam <3**

3:53 p.m.

 **lils:** can you guys stay out of the house

 **sam <3: **are you asking or telling

 **lils:** telling. stay out of the house

yep will do

 **sam <3: **what, you finally manage to get a girl, lillian?

 **lils:** that is literally not my name

 **sam <3: **sure it isn’t

it isn’t

 **sam <3: **whatever

 **lils:** but yes, to answer your question

 **lils:** though i didn’t “get” her i asked her

consent is sexy

 **lils:** yep

 **sam <3: **oh no what are we to do while kicked out of our own apartment jack

hmm i’m not sure :/

 **lils:** my god, just go be gay somewhere i don’t give a shit

 **sam <3: **lily says as she is seducing a woman

 **lils:** yeah but i’m a functional gay you two pined for like five years

 **sam <3: **i don’t pine, i repress

speak for yourself, i pined

 **lils:** my teeth are rotting. leave

 **sam <3: **well now i want to stay and keep annoying you

 **lils:** some of us have things to do, stevens

like what? tell me what important thing you’re doing right now.

 **lils:** none of your business

 **sam <3: **i bet she’s watching tv or some shit

 **lils:** well what productive thing are you doing?

we’re going for a walk, you know, like people do

fresh air and such

 **sam <3: **lily doesn’t know what that means she never leaves the apartment

 **lils:** i hate this place

**from:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**subject:** aliens

okay so listen. i was thinking. they have to be out there somewhere, right? the universe is so big! there’s no way humans are the only things here! that’s so self-centered of us. like, we thought we were the literal center of the galaxy, universe, what have you. we have learned from that, right? we now know so much more about the world and space around us and we are _not_ the middle of everything! we’re not the middle of our system, hell, we go around the sun, not the sun around us. i know you joke about flat earth and shit but for real, we’re not the center of anything. what _is_ the center of everything? where the hell are we in the midst of the universe, you know? there have to be more things out there, even if it’s little shit on neptune or whatever the fuck. aliens _have_ to exist, statistically. they do! i know you hate my supernatural shit but i was thinking it through okay

sent from my iPhone

**from:** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org)

**subject:** aliens

please never stop talking. 

sent from my iPhone

**annoyance**

10:19 p.m.

sam.

sammy.

only jack gets to call you sam, then?

fuck off

whatever

so you and jack are serious, then.

yes? did you not think we were?

i don’t know what i thought

listen, stevens.

listening

you can’t hurt him. you know that.

don’t fuck this all up. i don’t need to talk you about acting on air,

no you really don’t

but you know what i mean

don’t ruin our friendship with a messy breakup

lily

can i tell you the truth here?

shoot

i have been friends with you and jack for five years

clearly i have a problem with accepting my emotions

at least you’re self aware

fuck off

but. lily i don’t know if i want to have a breakup

at all

well, no one does at first, do they

i think you know what i mean

sadly, i do

sammy you know yourself better than everyone

do i?

you know you’re not the pinnacle of taking care of yourself

you know jack isn’t either

you have to promise me you’ll try

remember that whole spiel he gave about love? that applies to you too, stevens

i know.

i’ll do my best

good.

you may be an asshole

but i do trust you. be good to him

will jack be getting a similar shovel talk?

nah

i don’t care about you that much

**angel**

10:32 p.m.

jack

lily

so you and sammy are serious, then.


	2. who is sammy stevens? a real jackass, apparently

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> STEVENS
> 
> What’s the opposite of misogyny?
> 
> ARNOLD
> 
> Why would I know?
> 
> STEVENS
> 
> Feminism?
> 
> ARNOLD
> 
> I would not call Chet a feminist, Sammy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am having WAY too much fun with these.  
> i also added dates this chapter because it's easier to date shit that happens inside canon  
> enjoy!

**Sammy Stevens**

april 30, 11:48 p.m.

hi! I’m Ben Arnold, the producer of King Falls AM! 

this is Sammy Stevens, correct?

Yeah, that’s me. Great to meet you Ben. 

Can’t wait to work with you in a few hours!

drive safely! make sure not to get lost in Sweetser Forest, it’s known to be confusing for newcomers haha

Will do.

**Ben 💗**

may 1, 12:19 a.m.

Have a good first night!!!

thank you mom!

you know I won’t be on the air, right

Of course! But if you end up there...

I don’t know what you’re implying and frankly I’m too scared to ask

Love you honey 💗

love you too!

**Troy Krieghauser (do not text!!)**

may 1, 1:33 a.m.

Hey, Ben!

what do you want, Troy.

Hey, no need to be hostile!

I just helped your new buddy through Sweetser! Good old Aibeleen got him, of course LOL

only just now?

he better not be late

I’ll blame you

:(

**sam <3**

january 1, 8:12 a.m.

jack.

jack this isn’t funny where are you

8:33 a.m.

jack i saw the bag you left

where are you? why didn’t you take your fucking bag

why is the fucking car still running jack please

8:54 a.m.

called the police. everyone at work is going to know

i’m sorry i don’t know what else to do

goddamnit jack

10:40 a.m.

i found your notebook

i know you hate me looking at it but i think i get a pass this time, right

11:04 a.m.

you’re not reading these, i know that.

your phone isn’t here though

i hope you can see them. jack please

12:00 p.m.

you know, twelve hours ago, i kissed you at midnight

please jack don’t tell me that was the last time i got to kiss you

12:18 p.m.

you went to that town, didn’t you?

fucking king falls

i don’t know what to do, jack

i’m the one who runs away, not you

1:27 p.m.

you were the one who ran away from lily though, weren’t you

i guess i just didn’t think you would run away from me

1:55 p.m.

i have to help the police

they’re going to look for you but there isn’t much to go off of

not when your bag is in the entryway and the car is in the driveway

they all know, of course, i called work too 

so much for keeping it a secret, huh

if this was some elaborate prank to have us come out-

god, i wouldn’t even be mad, just come home

please

4:42 p.m.

i called lily

she’s pissed at me

if you could come back now, i would appreciate it

maybe she won’t beat me up as badly

i promised her i wouldn’t hurt you, you know

i know she never cared that much about me but she cared about you

she’s coming down here, though

8:33 p.m.

i have work in a few hours.

better to bite the bullet, right?

11:13 p.m.

i won’t keep texting, i know you’re not coming back.

i’m sorry i wasn’t enough for you

i should have helped you, i should have made you get help, i’m sorry

i know you aren’t coming back

i’m going to try and find you, though

11:42 p.m.

king falls.

i’ll meet you there?

**Sammy Stevens**

may 1, 1:44 a.m.

Hey Ben, I’m at the door knocking. Let me in?

be right there!!

**from:** [ **ben.arnold@kfam.org** ](mailto:ben.arnold@kfam.org)

**to:** [ **sammy.stevens@kfam.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@kfam.org)

**subject:** planning!

hey Sammy! here’s tonight’s schedule [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7apltfVJBwU)!! just look over them before the show! you did so well last night despite… well. despite Tim, but you can’t be blamed for that! I’m so glad you’re in King Falls!

Ben Arnold

Producer

**from:** [ **ben.arnold@kfam.org** ](mailto:ben.arnold@kfam.org)

**to:** [ **sammy.stevens@kfam.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@kfam.org)

**subject:** guest?

hey Sammy! I know you obviously don’t know much about King Falls, but make sure to ask before inviting people to guest! I’m sure Miss Emily Potter is fine, but our last librarian was NOT. so. it’s a bit stressful to worry about having a scary librarian in the station with us. make sure to check with me in the future, please! not your fault at all tho :)

Ben Arnold

Producer

**from:** [ **ben.arnold@kfam.org** ](mailto:ben.arnold@kfam.org)

**to:** [ **sammy.stevens@kfam.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@kfam.org)

**subject:** guest?

i was wrong. you win

sent from my iPhone

**Emily Potter!!!**

may 15, 3:46 p.m.

hi Emily!! this is Ben Arnold from King Falls AM!

Hi Ben!

It’s so nice to meet you :^)

you’re the sweetest ever

Awww <3 You’re so nice, Ben!

I loved doing the show with you this morning!

I hope you don’t mind if I come back again?

oh of course not!!

it would be my pleasure, Miss Potter

=D 

And please, you can call me Emily!

sounds good, Emily :)

**ben**

may 24, 5:16 a.m.

you can run but you can’t hide, Sammy

I saw your phone

you have autocaps off. you just hit the uppercase button

I don’t know what you’re talking about

don’t tell me you didn’t type all lowercase before

I didn’t!

you definitely did

can’t hide it from me Sammy

You do your capitals weird too!!

it’s a King Falls charm

i was wondering actually

HA ALL LOWERCASE

fuck off, benjamin

no

but really, do you make the beginning of sentences lowercase or do you make other words uppercase

are your autocaps on or off

that’s for me to know and you to wonder about

Whatever.

okay no wait don’t go back to dad texting

dad texting??

yeah

shitty grammar, autocaps on

either way too many emojis or not at all, in your case, the latter

never double texting if you can send it in one text

I am never speaking to you again.

this is the greatest day of my life

every time you dad text five years are added to my lifespan

well if that’s the case

how dare you

but really, i just like to try and maintain professionalism if i’m doing work things

sammy

ben

king falls am does not know the meaning of “professionalism”

have you heard chet?

he makes at least ten innuendos a minute

I once heard him make thirty one in a minute. it was insane

that’s true

still though it’s not like i knew that

also, you say “professionalism” but you literally haven’t replied to a single email I have sent

pretty unprofessional :/

i don’t like using emails all that much

old form of communication

you still look at them though, right

definitely

**from:** [ **ben.arnold@kfam.org** ](mailto:ben.arnold@kfam.org)

**to:** [ **sammy.stevens@kfam.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@kfam.org)

**subject:** emails

if you see this email I want you to say “blueberry” when I see you next. I’m sending this at like 4 pm. I know you will see it.

sent from my iPhone

**sammy!!**

may 27, 5:32 a.m.

so.

so?

you don’t check your emails do you

god damn it

[EXCERPT OF KING FALLS AM, APRIL 4, 2015]

SAMMY STEVENS

Of course, at a later hour, Miss Emily Potter will be popping in to say hello-

BEN ARNOLD

 _And_ to tell us about the new books in the kids section-

STEVENS

Yeah, whatever. (coy) You excited, _Benny_?

ARNOLD

Oh, [redacted] off.

STEVENS

It is still so funny to see you bleep yourself. It never gets old.

ARNOLD

Some things just need to be expressed in swear words! And I can’t have that on the air!

STEVENS

I doubt Chet bleeps himself when he’s talking to whoever calls in- actually, do people call in to his show? Is that a thing?

ARNOLD

I mean, sometimes people do, for song requests and such, but he doesn’t usually _swear_ , Sammy. He just makes disgusting comments to whatever poor lady calls in and hangs up on the majority of the men.

STEVENS

What’s the opposite of misogyny?

ARNOLD

Why would I know?

STEVENS

Feminism?

ARNOLD

I would _not_ call Chet a feminist, Sammy.

STEVENS

No, you’re right. He just doesn’t want to be seen making moves on a dude.

ARNOLD

(deep sigh) Chet Sebastian. No one plays better jazz and no one sleeps with more women.

STEVENS

So we can’t say [redacted] live but you can talk about Chet? Personally, I think his name is worthy of a bleep.

ARNOLD

As much as I would like to agree, it’s more about vulgar language and what have you.

STEVENS

It’s stupid.

ARNOLD

What, did you not have a bleeper back in the _big city_?

STEVENS

We did. Doesn’t mean we used it.

ARNOLD

Did your producer not give a damn, or…

STEVENS

My producer… well, to be honest, he joined in most of the time. We were... friends.

ARNOLD

Huh. Like us, then?

STEVENS

I mean, in a way.

ARNOLD

Sometimes I forget I’m supposed to be a producer, most of the time. It’s more about actually talking on here than all the planning.

STEVENS

I don’t forget. I get to just come in here and run my mouth while you do all the preparation. Frankly, it’s great.

ARNOLD

(dryly) Always glad to make your life easier, Shotgun.

STEVENS

(just as dry) Always glad to have an easier life, Arnold.

[END EXCERPT]

**ben**

june 21, 3:49 a.m.

so ben

we’re in the middle of a show sammy

i was thinking

a novel concept

you know how we have breakfast after every show?

yeah???

and you know how emily is going to come on in like twenty minutes

yes

i’m going to ask her to come with us

Sammy.

ben.

do it but it wasn’t my idea

sounds like a plan

5:04 a.m.

oh no

i have fallen drastically ill

there is no hope for me now, ben

guess you have to go to breakfast with emily by yourself

I am going to destroy you

good luck from all the way down there

fuck you!!!

i thought you were into emily,

I hate this place

goodbye, cruel world

you can’t die until you take emily on your date!

....

thanks, I guess

just doing my job :)


	3. the point is, the oats were yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you better treat miss emily potter RIGHT, ben arnold
> 
> or i will be taking her :)
> 
> NOT THAT SHE IS A THING TO TAKE i mean i will be flirting with her
> 
> more so than usual
> 
>  **total babe:** I mean, you know I’m not against that Lily =D
> 
>  **short:** EMILY
> 
>  **total babe:** What??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah. i wrote a chapter that is the SAME LENGTH AS THE FIRST TWO all about sammy and lily. i have so many feelings about them and their similarities but how they react differently to the same trauma-  
> don't mind me i am just steadily ignoring my nanowrimo project and writing this. i hope you enjoy!!

**lily wright.**

january 1, 3:16 p.m.

hey, lily

3:43 p.m.

sammy fucking stevens.

finally decide being a shock jock wasn’t good enough?

because i’m not helping.

neither of you.

it’s about jack.

pick up my calls, please

**from:** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**subject:** guys?

yeah so what the fuck

sent from my Android

**from:** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**subject:** guys?

???????????

sent from my iPhone

**from:** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**subject:** guys?

you guys have been ignoring my texts for the last few days and also not talking to me like normal people. like jack you’re planning the shit for the show but what the fuck is going on

sent from my Android

**from:** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**subject:** guys?

we literally live in the same house i don’t know what you’re on about lillian

sent from my iPhone

**from:** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**subject:** guys?

unless you two are getting dick like a lot more than usual (which, as long as you're quiet about it, is fine) you’re planning something and leaving me out of it

sent from my Android

**from:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org) **,** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**subject:** guys?

first of all don’t be crude second of all since when are we avoiding you?

sent from my iPhone

**from:** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**subject:** guys?

i did not say you were avoiding me. i said that you were being weird. but okay.

sent from my Android

**from:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org) **,** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**subject:** guys?

listen lils. we don’t have to talk to you about everything, despite what you may think

sent from my iPhone

**from:** [ **lily.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@1090.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@1090.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@1090.org) **,** [ **sammy.stevens@1090.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@1090.org)

**subject:** guys?

well then. all right i guess. love you too

sent from my Android

**sam <3**

july 31, 4:46 p.m.

i feel bad.

you shouldn’t

she’s the one who starts all the fights

not talking to her about it just avoids more arguments

i still feel bad

she’s my sister, sammy

do you want to talk to her again?

we can

i don’t like this any more than you, jack

i love her too

we shouldn’t

it isn’t worth the fighting.

let’s just get ready to go, yeah

okay.

**sammy stevens.**

august 1, 6:15 a.m.

sam.

i’m driving in to king falls right now.

what the fuck

it’s a work thing

you can ignore me

just. i figured you would want to be aware

7:49 a.m.

yeah.

[EXCERPT OF KING FALLS AM, AUGUST 8, 2019]

SAMMY STEVENS

I still can’t believe Ben _literally_ planned every minute of this show.

LILY WRIGHT

Well, you can’t say he isn’t thorough.

STEVENS

Never did.

WRIGHT

God, this is just like old times, isn’t it?

STEVENS

Missing someone.

WRIGHT

 _Hm_.

STEVENS

Yeah. _Hm_.

WRIGHT

...This is going to be a weird broadcast, isn’t it?

STEVENS

For once, I think you’re right, Lily.

WRIGHT

Gee, thanks. 

STEVENS

I know Ben has that whole _important mission_ -

WRIGHT

Didn’t he say we _shouldn’t_ be talking about it on the air-

STEVENS

But _still_ , I don’t think it’s the smartest idea. We shouldn’t be separated, with this whole _one_ business.

WRIGHT

I know where you stand, Shotgun. We had the argument many, many times.

STEVENS

Jack in a box Jesus, I wish I was Emily. I wouldn’t have had to deal with _living_ with you.

WRIGHT

(sing-songy) _Oats_.

STEVENS

Oh, fuck off.

WRIGHT

Wait, shit, aren’t we supposed to be bleeping-

STEVENS

Have you heard us bleeping before? The piece of shit broke forever ago.

WRIGHT

Fair enough.

STEVENS

...Moving forward-

WRIGHT

Moving forward-

STEVENS

Should we make some calls, then?

WRIGHT

Oh, sure. I’ve missed this part, to be honest-

STEVENS

While making your podcast?

WRIGHT

Don’t give me that look, Stevens. I’m tired of defending goddamn podcasts to you-

STEVENS

Oh, finally accepting defeat?

WRIGHT

Fuck off.

STEVENS

(gleefully) Gladly.

WRIGHT

 _But really_ , I have missed listener feedback. Especially from _you_ , dear listeners-

STEVENS

Okay, no, I hate that voice. Keep the breathy, aesthetic, fucking ASMR “dear listeners” for Wright On, Lily.

WRIGHT

(laughing) Okay, okay. I’ll keep _respect_ for my listeners to podcasting. While you-

STEVENS

Call it how I see it. Listeners? Most of you are great, but some of you? Step the fuck up.

WRIGHT

Was that a Vine reference?

STEVENS

I’m not _that_ old.

WRIGHT

Sure.

[END EXCERPT]

**asshole**

april 12, 8:25 a.m.

stevens

what the fuck are you up to

what

don’t play dumb

i’m not?

sammy.

lily.

you’ve been acting weird around jack lately

what’s up with that

i’m… acting weird?

are you being sarcastic or are you serious

i am serious i genuinely can’t tell

because you are acting like

well

like what.

lillian.

first of all, do you have something you want to talk about

concerning jack and your feelings?

8:31 a.m.

stevens you _know_ i’m a lesbian, right

it's not a problem

8:42 a.m.

sammy, it’s okay

talk to me. i’m not upset or anything

i didn't mean to bring it up if it hurts you

i’m in my room. come talk to me, yeah?

8:51 a.m.

okay

**from:** [ **lily.wright@wrighton.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@wrighton.org)

**to:** [ **sammy.stevens@kfam.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@kfam.org)

**subject:** plans

did ben send you the google doc of plans for these next few however many weeks because he didn’t send them to me and i would like to know the plan thx

Lily Wright

Director of Wright On, Phenomenal Journalist

**from:** [ **lily.wright@wrighton.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@wrighton.org)

**to:** [ **sammy.stevens@kfam.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@kfam.org)

**subject:** really?

don’t tell me you turned into jack, never checking your emails and shit

Lily Wright

Director of Wright On, You Better Answer Me Shotgun Or Else

**from:** [ **lily.wright@wrighton.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@wrighton.org)

**to:** [ **sammy.stevens@kfam.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@kfam.org)

**subject:**

you bitch

sent from my Android

**we’re all codependent here**

august 7, 11:52 p.m.

 **annoyance:** i still don’t like you leaving, ben

 **short:** it’s not like you can stop me, Sammy!

 **total babe:** Stop US. :)

 **short:** exactly!!

really stevens, let the happy couple honeymoon in peace

we can still have a good time ;)

 **short:** Lily,

RELAX i’m kidding

we’re both gay and also quite close to being siblings

 **total babe:** Well, that’s one way of putting it!

 **annoyance:** a blunt, lily way of putting it

 **annoyance:** but not wrong

 **short:** I’m sure Katie Lynch will come over a lot more with an emptier house

 **annoyance:** jack in a box jesus don’t give her ideas

by the way, who the hell is jack in a box jesus

no one ever bothered to explain that bit of lore

 **short:** oh, you mean the Burger King of Kings?

bitch i was raised catholic and i have never heard of a fast food god

 **total babe:** To be fair, it all happened before you showed up.

 **annoyance:** no emily don’t tell her it’s funnier if you don’t

gee thanks

 **annoyance:** you’re welcome

guess i’ll just have to ask the listeners while we work together, shotgun

which is in what, two hours now?

 **annoyance:** god, don’t remind me

wonder how frickard will feel without ben to torment

 **total babe:** Lily, let’s not talk about him. Please. I don’t think either Sammy or I want to have to think about him.

absolutely, my bad

okay but for real, ben

 **short:** what, Lily

you better treat miss emily potter RIGHT.

or i will be taking her :)

NOT THAT SHE IS A THING TO TAKE i mean i will be flirting with her

more so than usual

 **total babe:** I mean, you know I’m not against that =D

 **short:** EMILY

 **total babe:** What??

 **short:** you know what.

okay, okay, you know i’m kidding benny!

 **short:** ben. and fine.

i can hear his stressed sigh from here. emily, how do you stand it

 **total babe:** Because I love him and how he acts, even when he’s stressed and annoyed about a truly wonderful woman trying to take his woman. ;)

oh honey if you’re into it…

 **short:** WE HAVE TO GET BACK ON THE ROAD and since Emily is driving I guess she has to say goodbye so bye!

 **total babe:** He is right about that, we have our gas so I’m ready to keep on going. Long drive ahead of us.

 **annoyance:** bye guys! love you!

sickening.

 **annoyance:** i will end you

**jack wright**

september 2, 5:09 p.m.

dude

what’s up?

your sister is… something else

you can say that again

she’s always been an interesting one

she’s my big sister though

you guys seem to be really close

yeah!

only a year apart, so she’s kinda helped me with stuff

and when she wanted to do radio and i wanted to do producing…

wait

you guys are into that kind of stuff?

yeah?

that’s exactly what i want to do, jack

talk radio, or something

out of here, though. i’m not staying in this hellhole any longer than i have to

that’s fair, i’ve only been in florida for a few months and i can see why

hey, don’t talk bad about my state!

only I get to call it the shittiest place in the world!

hey, they don’t do sarcasm anywhere else like they do here

your snark is unparalleled

i aim to please

you know, i wonder if we can be on the radio together at some point

wouldn’t that be kinda cool?

pretty far into the future, but yeah, actually

that would be pretty fucking cool, sammy stevens

**from:** [ **lily.wright@wrighton.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@wrighton.org)

**to:** [ **pippa.james@wrighton.org** ](mailto:pippa.james@wrighton.org)

**subject:** really???

okay, listen. i get it. king falls is where we have been told to go so many times. but do we HAVE to?? awful, seriously. we’ve been over this. king fucking falls is not the place to go. i don’t know why you’re so heartset on listening to the listeners this time. i have told you no so many times, pip. do you not pay attention? use your ears. c’mon. you can do it.

Lily Wright

Director of Wright On and Really Fucking Annoyed, Pippa

**Benny <3**

february 10, 9:22 p.m.

Ben.

yeah, Em?

I’ve been thinking about Sammy and Lily.

about the way they’re going to kill each other by the time we get back? because I agree. 100 percent.

Well, the thought has crossed my mind. XD

Emily I love you but why do you have to use emoticons like it’s 2016

It’s a part of my charm!!

:D

you’re adorable. never stop talking.

Will do <3

But really. Sammy and Lily… I think they’re more alike than they are willing to admit.

why are you thinking of this now?

but hey, I’m not arguing there. they are … weirdly alike, sometimes

I was just thinking about them, stuck running the show together.

They both love Jack Wright,

true

They both have deep attachments to the few people they care about,

I guess

They also both don’t know how to show this fact.

Sammy does! he tells me he loves me all the time

and he’s gotten better talking about Jack

I think a part of the stuff about Jack was the years and years of. well. hiding it from everyone except Lily

And how long has it taken Sammy to be able to say these things?

…

a long time.

Five years.

five years.

And Lily still doesn’t talk about it all that much. When she does, it’s so sarcastic you can’t even tell she’s really upset.

Or... happy. Or feeling any human emotion.

you got me there

the only time I’ve seen Lily showing emotion is when she talks about Jack and when Sammy gave her those oats

you couldn’t tell just on the air but. it was a different Lily voice

I get that.

oh do you now? and how might you know how Lily Wright talks?

Oh, stop it. ;D

I don’t like that wink.

;D ;D ;D

You know what I mean, though.

I do.

it’s very interesting

you pick up on so much more than I do

I was only thinking about what to do if I come home and one of them is dead and the other awaiting trial for murder

Oh Benny.

We both know there’s only a 10 percent chance of that happening.

you make my fucking heart soar but you also make my anxiety rise

:)

**from:** [ **sammy.stevens@shocksat.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@shotgunsat.org)

**to:** [ **jack.wright@shocksat.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@shocksat.org)

**subject:** hey

jack. i saw the link you sent me. i get that you’re interested in all this supernatural stuff and it’s really interesting and shit but. we left everything to come do this job. we left _lily_ to come do this job. as much as i want you to follow your heart, i don’t want you to leave everything to go to a tiny town in the middle of god knows where. i don’t want you to get hurt, okay? this is a big deal. we can talk more after i get out. you’re lucky you didn’t have to join in today. it’s a wednesday, jack. kill me now.

sent from my iPhone

**sammy stevens.**

august 14, 1:33 a.m.

hey sammy

what do you want lily

we’re live in like half an hour

can it not wait

i was just wondering about something

what

in the group chat when benmily left

benmily?

roll with it, stevens

but i mentioned fucking frogface

and she said she didn’t like thinking about him and neither did you

now i know that asshole gaslit her and shit

but. did something happen between you two as well

i don’t really want to talk about it, lily

it isn’t a nice thing

sammy

didn’t we say something about telling the truth and all that

no more repression?

this isn’t repression 

it’s just not thinking about a very not great evening

that bad, huh

i won’t push it.

let me know if you want to talk about it, though

fine.

**from:** [ **pippa.james@wrighton.org** ](mailto:pippa.james@wrighton.org)

**to:** [ **lily.wright@wrighton.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@wrighton.org)

**subject:** really???

Listen up motherfuck. The audience wants it, okay? And as your producer, I have the final say. Okay fine no that isn’t true you have the final say but I am begging you Lils this is a good chance! I know you’re fucked up about your brother and I know you hate talking about him and I know there is bad blood here. But I can just tell that this is a place we need to go. A place _you_ need to go. I don’t know why but I think this is a place for you Lily. A place to find something new. Maybe even get over losing Jack, I don’t know. I don’t mean to be blunt and you know I love you but we need to get this done. It will also make our listening audience go up once we have all the crazies who talk about this place.

Pippa James

Producer of Wright On, Tired Of Your Shit Lillian

**sammy stevens.**

august 26, 7:19 a.m.

lily

what do you want

greg frickard outed me

that’s why i hate him

he put together the pieces from when you and i talked on air

and. yeah

oh

sammy i’m so sorry

that’s so fucking shitty. i’ll sucker punch him for you

it’s appreciated but no need

it just leaves me with a little more than medium rage for him

well, no one ever said you were ben arnold

no, they did not

7:33 a.m.

_ you changed **asshole** 's contact information _

the sucker punch is still available sammy

i’m so pissed

7:46 a.m.

thank you.

**from:** [ **jack.wright@shocksat.org** ](mailto:jack.wright@shocksat.org)

**to:** [ **sammy.stevens@shocksat.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@shocksat.org)

**subject:** hey

i hear what you’re saying, sam! i don’t mean to try and force this on you. i just think it could be cool! you know how we travel some of those free sunday to mondays. maybe we could go check it out! see the paranormal! it would be fun, don’t you think! i know you don’t entirely believe all this stuff. you’re a skeptic. i get it. but you know i think this is all so COOL and interesting like why is it all going down at this one place you know? i wonder if those aliens and stuff go down and abduct people wouldn’t that be so cool? terrible. awful. but COOL. i just want to check it out???

Jack Wright

Producer of Shotgun Saturday Nights

**Maybe: Ben Arnold**

may 1, 9:22 a.m.

Hey Ben?

hey Sammy!!

I really hope you liked your first night!

well, besides the obvious

Actually, I wanted to ask

Have aliens abducted anyone else? Like, before?

to be fair, we don’t KNOW if they’re aliens (definitely aliens tho)

but no, not to my knowledge??

I think this a first, my man

Well, I’m glad no one else has been endangered by these… lights.

I never really believed in “alien abduction”

Always seemed too movie-esque

yeah, I get that

but it happens here

just about everything does

Everything, huh?

everything.

 _you changed_ **_Ben_ ** _’s contact information_

Good to know. Thanks for taking me for breakfast, too.

oh, it’s no problem! I think we’re set to be pretty good friends, Sammy :)

I hope so, Ben.

**lily wright.**

february 6, 2:12 a.m.

hey

sammy

2:31 a.m.

sammy

2:45 a.m.

i am live, lily

on a break now. the fuck do you want

what food am i allowed to touch

none of it. go to sleep

pot, kettle

whatever. if you’re going to take food, take the stuff marked as ben’s

he probably won’t even care because i made it and it’s not junk

i knew you were a real one, stevens

goodnight, lily

2:51

have a good night, sammy.

**lily wright.**

february 9, 3:14 a.m.

sammyyyyyyyyyyy

your show is boring tonight

step it up

3:30 p.m.

take it up with the producer

i will not be doing that <3

so you’ll just torment me? oh joy

i’m also taking the last blueberry yogurt. go shopping

why is this my job?

because you cook and if i could i would only consume alcohol and fast food

lily.

kidding!! relax old man

i am literally a few months older than you

old man

fuck off

3:44 a.m.

goodnight, stevens

thanks for the yogurt

4:15 a.m.

not like you asked

but you’re welcome

**lily wright.**

february 12, 4:10 a.m.

you know what i’m craving?

eggs.

make me scrambled eggs in the morning

4:30 a.m.

lily go the fuck to sleep, it IS the morning

no

and you know that’s always how jack made his eggs

4:35 a.m.

i know.

5:01 a.m.

i’ll make you some scrambled eggs

only because i want some too. and ben gets more than you

sexism

he owns the house, he gets the most eggs

fuck you

no thanks

**lily wright.**

february 15, 2:04 a.m.

i see oats

in the fridge

not marked with yours or ben’s name

therefore i am eating them

2:21 a.m.

god this show sucks i’m calling in to grace you with my presence

5:33 a.m.

i’m not adding more sugar to the oats, you know

i know

but they’re my oats, rights?

 _you changed_ **_lils_ ** _’s contact information._

yeah.

the oats were yours.


	4. cronkite! brokaw!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **to: merv.merv@merv.org**  
>  **from: ben.arnold@kfam.org**  
>  **subject:** really?  
> leaving a sticky note with the word “google” on it does not help me learn about the new radio host sir
> 
> sent from my iPhone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> working title: the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of loving ben arnold  
> first of all, "merv.merv@merv.org" is the funniest goddamn thing to me i laugh every time i write it. originally it was @kfam.org but i accidentally typed it the other way once and i couldn't stop laughing at myself so i just changed them all to be like that. i am sorry  
> second of all this is such a mess. some of these have structure but this is pure kfam brainrot i can't write prose anymore so have this absolute mess  
> third of all this was written to be a ben appreciation chapter but it kinda turned into a bit of group bonding so just know that ben arnold is the best boy and i love him  
> i hope you enjoy!! stay safe and healthy!! love u all xoxo  
> u can also hit me up on twitter @lcvelaces i do gay shit there

**ben**

december 27, 2:23 p.m.

hey, ben

what’s up Sammy?

i was wondering if you want to do anything for new year’s this year

oh that’s such a good idea

your first new years in king falls!!!!!

we should totally do something! I bet I can get rosa to make us pancakes

doesn’t she close on the 31st?

you underestimate how much she loves me

also how much I can suck up to people

that doesn’t surprise me, actually

of course not

can we invite Emily too?

i mean, i’ll never say no to seeing miss potter

she is lovely

and there’s no way there are any ulterior motives here

just good fun friendship

shut the fuck up

did you just say fuck?

it’s your fault shotgun

oh come on

teasing you about emily doesn’t count as fuck worthy!

…

fine. maybe I want to kiss her at midnight

knew it

I won’t have the courage to though so don’t worry about it

you won’t be third wheeling

oh ben i definitely will be

but it’s fine! you two deserve to be happy and i like hanging out

even if you two are all over each other

can’t believe you stevens

actually no. I can. you’re the worst

can’t wait to see you buddy :)

**to:** [ **merv.merv@merv.org** ](mailto:merv.merv@kfam.org)

**from:** [ **ben.arnold@kfam.org** ](mailto:ben.arnold@kfam.org)

**subject:** new host

Hi Merv,

Is there any way you can tell me anything about the new guy? The only thing I know is that he’s from “the big city” and that he’ll be taking the 2-6 shift. Which big city? What is his name, actually? Please actually tell me these things I feel like they are important to know

Ben Arnold

Producer of King Falls AM

**to:** [ **merv.merv@merv.org** ](mailto:merv.merv@kfam.org)

**from:** [ **ben.arnold@kfam.org** ](mailto:ben.arnold@kfam.org)

**subject:** sammy stevens

I see you left a sticky note in the office. I get that you like to communicate in… strange ways, but is it too much to ask that you answer my emails? No disrespect. But I guess the new guy’s name is Sammy Stevens. Do you know anything else about him? Thanks.

Ben Arnold

Producer of King Falls AM

**to:** [ **merv.merv@merv.org** ](mailto:merv.merv@kfam.org)

**from:** [ **ben.arnold@kfam.org** ](mailto:ben.arnold@kfam.org)

**subject:** really?

leaving a sticky note with the word “google” on it does not help me learn about the new radio host sir

sent from my iPhone

**sammy!!**

december 1, 6:27 a.m.

Sammy

are you coming to rosa’s?

6:44 a.m.

I take that as a no

Sammy please we can talk about this

you know that I love you

you’re my best friend

I was just so worried about Emily

I just don’t know what to think

you showed up out of nowhere Sammy

I’m sorry I know you didn’t do anything

7:12 a.m.

are you going to talk to me Sammy

we have to go on the air tomorrow and all week

you can’t avoid me forever

8:49 a.m.

i can sure as hell try, ben

if you really can’t trust me, why would i text you

don’t say that

who is sammy stevens? tell me

my best friend.

sure.

**to:** [ **merv.merv@merv.org** ](mailto:merv.merv@kfam.org)

**from:** [ **sammy.stevens@shocksat.org** ](mailto:sammy.stevens@shocksat.org)

**subject:** Job Opportunity

Hi Merv,

My name is Sammy Stevens. I’m a radio host, and I’ve been looking around for jobs in this area. Do you have any openings in King Falls with radio work? Any time slot is fine. I've attached my resume, so just let me know.

Thanks,

Sammy Stevens

Shotgun Saturday Nights

**Emily Potter!!**

december 27, 2:39 p.m.

hey Emily! I was wondering if you’re busy new year’s eve

I am not! Why do you ask?

Sammy and I were thinking of getting together to have a party

would you be interested in coming

?

Oh Benny I would love to!!

That sounds like so much fun =D

I’m so glad! it wouldn’t be the same without you joining us

Will it just be us three?

I mean I think so

unless Sammy has a girlfriend to kiss at midnight that he’s been hiding from all of us LMAO

You’re so funny!

But I was thinking.... we could always invite Greg over ;)

Emily……

Kidding!! I’m just kidding!!!!

Don’t worry Benny I would never :-)

I wasn’t worried for a second

...Really?

no yeah I was definitely worried

You’re adorable.

.

oh

thank you you’re adorable too Emily

Thank you! I guess I’ll see you on New Year’s Eve, then?

sounds like a date!

wait

that’s not what I meant

It’s okay! I get it XD

See you then <3

**to:** [ **ben.arnold@kfam.org** ](mailto:ben.arnold@kfam.org)

**from:** [ **lily.wright@wrighton.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@wrighton.org)

**subject:** King Falls

Hi Ben,

I’m Lily Wright, as you might have gathered, and my podcast Wright On is doing an episode centered around King Falls. I heard that you are the producer of King Falls AM, and I was hoping I might get a chance to speak with you about the town. Please let me know when you’re free at your earliest convenience.

Lily Wright

Director of Wright On

**emily <3333**

july 27, 4:03 p.m.

I just don’t know what to do!

I love him so much Emily and he isn’t responding to anything I do

he just had a traumatic experience and I am not belittling that but I need him to get up

he will be okay but he has to try to be okay

I just don’t think he gets how much I love him! I don’t think he thinks he deserves to be loved and that’s so unfair to himself! I don’t know what to do

Hey sweetheart it’s okay

You’re doing everything you can to help him and I’m proud of you.

I love you so much, you know that, and I also love Sammy

I’ll do anything to help you help him

thank you em

I’m just so worried about him

and I can’t talk to him like I always do and I feel like I’m dumping everything on you because I have to talk to someone I can’t internalize everything like he does and I'm sorry about that Emily

Hey, don’t apologize Benny

I love hearing you talk

It’s okay!!

I am so proud of you for how strong you are

I just feel like I should be doing more to help him but I don’t know what else I can do

I can’t lose him! every time we get in a fight it always ends up bad because I miss him and yes maybe Lily has a point when she says we’re a little codependent 

it’s just hard you know

I do know

Want me to come over today? We can play Clue! Sammy will be all competitive and maybe that will help a bit.

that sounds good

thank you Em

I love you

I love you too, sweetheart <3

**ben, emily potter**

december 31, 7:14 p.m.

 **ben:** you guys are free to come over whenever!

what is this, a group chat?

 **ben:** I figured we needed one! so we could all communicate!

 **_emily potter_ ** _changed the group chat name to_ **the squad!**

 **emily potter:** What a smart idea, Benny!

yeah, benny

 **ben:** sammy shut up

 **ben:** but really I’m ready whenever! we can watch the ball drop and it will be great

 **ben:** it will just be us three right?

i mean i’m not bringing anyone else

so unless emily is bringing frickard...

 **emily:** Oh, you got me Sammy!

 **ben:** YOU BOTH MAKE THE SAME JOKES I SWEAR

oh, who said it was a joke?

 **emily:** B-)

 **ben:** I cannot stand you two

 **emily:** It’s going to be a fun New Year’s party, then!

i believe you’re right, miss potter

[EXCERPT OF KING FALLS AM, OCTOBER 5, 2019]

BEN ARNOLD

Hello and welcome to King Falls AM, 660 on the AM dial. I’m Ben Arnold, here with my co-host Sammy Stevens-

SAMMY STEVENS

On this completely normal, uneventful day, Ben. It is great to be with you all this morning-

ARNOLD

Oh, no you don’t. You can’t escape me, Sammy.

STEVENS

I can sure try. I have a best of here in my pocket-

ARNOLD

No, don't even start-

STEVENS

And I have longer arms than you, also I’m definitely stronger than you-

ARNOLD

You are an absolute beanpole, I'm made of _pure muscle_ -

STEVENS

 _So_ I am definitely capable of throwing this best of in and leaving the station before you go all _Ben_.

ARNOLD

(stammering) I-I-What does that mean? “Go all _Ben_.” What?

STEVENS

I’m just saying you get a little... excitable on days like this.

ARNOLD

I will brush past the insult- I think it was an insult- and be happy that you admit it IS a special day.

STEVENS

What- no. (scoff) Okay, I don’t want to make a big deal of it, Ben. It’s really not a huge thing.

ARNOLD

Actually-

[A DOOR SWINGS OPEN]

It _is_ a big deal!

LILY WRIGHT

Surprise, Shotgun!

EMILY POTTER

Hi Sammy! Happy birthday!

STEVENS

Oh my God. Guys-

ARNOLD

(singing) Happy birthday to you,

ARNOLD, POTTER, WRIGHT

(singing) Happy birthday to you,

STEVENS

(as they are singing) Guys- no- don’t- oh God. This is-

ARNOLD, POTTER, WRIGHT

(still singing) Happy birthday, dear Sammy-

STEVENS

This is unfair. Fuck you all. 

ARNOLD, POTTER, WRIGHT

(singing) Happy birthday to you!

WRIGHT

(dry) And many more!

STEVENS

(long sigh) Why. Why?

POTTER

Because we love you, Sammy!

STEVENS

And I acknowledge that. However-

WRIGHT

Did you just say the words “I acknowledge that” in response to someone saying “I love you”?

STEVENS

(annoyed silence)

WRIGHT

(offhand) No wonder you and Jack took so long to figure shit out, neither of you know how to talk like regular people.

STEVENS

Watch it.

WRIGHT

Oh, come on, that was harmless! It was funny! I love you, Stevens! You were one of my best friends for ten years, my mortal enemy for five, and now we’re buddies again! (a beat) Don’t give me that face.

STEVENS

 _Look_. (sigh) I’m glad you’re all here. I appreciate it. But I don’t want to make a big deal out of this while we’re all still looking for Jack! We have more pressing matters at hand than my birthday, guys.

ARNOLD

Sammy. Listen. You deserve to be celebrated.

STEVENS

Okay-

ARNOLD

Shut up.

STEVENS

Oh?

WRIGHT

(appreciative laugh) Go off, Benny!

ARNOLD

Ben. But thank you, I will. Sammy, you deserve to be appreciated. We are working hard to get Jack back, and if that’s how you want to spend your birthday, we sure as hell will. But that doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate you, too. We’re on the air for four hours. We have time to talk about you.

POTTER

Sometimes it’s okay to let yourself have a good time, Sammy.

WRIGHT

Also, I brought a cake and you better eat it.

STEVENS

I- wait, a cake?

ARNOLD

Sammy, we love you.

STEVENS

Ben-

POTTER

No escape until you accept it, Stevens. We love you.

STEVENS

(grumbling) I can’t believe _I’m_ on the receiving end of Emily Potter’s “take no shit” voice.

POTTER

And you will be until you get your head out of your ass! 

WRIGHT

She’s right. (over dramatic sigh) Happy _fucking_ birthday, Stevens. 

STEVENS

I- thank you. Thank you guys. For all of this.

WRIGHT

As much as I loathe to admit it, the short one planned all of it. Thank him

STEVENS

Thank you, Ben.

ARNOLD

I love you, Sammy. My brother.

STEVENS

(quiet) I love you too, brother.

[END EXCERPT]

**emily**

november 17, 3:12 a.m.

hey emily

What’s up, Sammy?

i was wondering if you could come up and visit tonight

ben’s kinda stressed about you know

everything

I do know :(

And that sounds like a plan! I don’t have anything to do currently so I’ll come up?

and lily?

She’s sleeping, for once. I’ll text her and leave a note, though, so she doesn’t worry when she wakes up.

good

thank you

see you soon emily

See you soon!

**to:** [ **lily.wright@wrighton.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@kfam.org)

**from:** [ **ben.arnold@kfam.org** ](mailto:ben.arnold@kfam.org)

**subject:** King Falls

Hi Lily,

I would love to have you come visit the station! I’m free any time next week (August 27-September 2) so just let me know! Weekends would probably be better though, because I’m not on the air in the mornings. Is it okay if my co-host Sammy Stevens is with me?

Thanks for the opportunity!

Ben Arnold

Producer of King Falls AM

**_short_ ** _added you to_ **the squad!**

february 15, 7:47 p.m.

first of all

 _you changed_ **we’re all codependent here** _’s information_

that was a lame gc name

 **short:** I add you to the group chat and this is what you do

 **short:** insult both us and the group chat name?

 **annoyance:** you can’t say it’s not in character for her

hell yeah it’s in character for me

xoxo

 **total babe:** Not that I’m against it, but why is Lily here?

 **short:** well now that she and sammy have figured out their shit

 **annoyance:** watch it

what, do you think we’re still fighting, shotgun?

 **annoyance:** fuck off

 **short:** NOW THAT SHE AND SAMMY HAVE FIGURED OUT THEIR SHIT,

 **short:** we need to work together on this

 **short:** you do realize that, right

are you referring to me or stevens

because i pick up on things. he probably doesn’t though

 **annoyance:** it’s like you’re asking for me to take away the oats

you already made them for tonight!

 **annoyance:** i will take them to the station and eat them on the air

fuck you

 **total babe:** Hey, listen to Ben. He’s right. We should all be working together here.

 **short:** thank you Em

 **total babe:** No problem Benny <3

yeah, thank you benny

 **short:** it’s Ben

whatever

but you’re right, i want to help with all this

i know i have been already but i mean

getting added to the group chat? huge step

 **annoyance:** but he who giveth can taketh away or whatever the fuck. we can remove you just as fast

thought you hated religion sammy

 **annoyance:** hey, i like glory holes

i’m sorry what the fuck did you just say

GLORY HOLES?

sammy .

 **short:** can we please get back to the point

as soon as someone explains to me what the fuck glory holes has to do with religion

and why sammy… well

 **total babe:** The full title is “Glory Holes: Mini Golf for a Mighty God.” It’s a Christian themed putt putt course.

jesus fucking christ

 **annoyance:** exactly!

 **short:** oh my god. guys. the POINT

yes yes we’re going to save my brother and sammy’s fiance from the void. wooooo time for us all to become one unstable family

 **total babe:** Those aren’t the words I would have chosen but you aren’t incorrect.

**to:[ **ben.arnold@kfam.org**](mailto:ben.arnold@kfam.org)**

**from:[ **lily.wright@wrighton.org**](mailto:lily.wright@kfam.org)**

**subject:** King Falls

Ben,

I'll be there on the 27th around nine am, if that work. And sure, Stevens can be there. Just make sure to tell him in advance. I don't think he'll be too happy to see me.

Good luck.

Lily Wright

Director of Wright On

**ben**

july 29, 12:00 a.m.

happy birthday, brother.

Sammy!!

thank you <3

you didn’t have to stay up for me

you do for me

every goddamn year

i should be able to make a big deal out of your birthday, too

I love you Sammy

thank you for staying

for being here

that isn’t something you should have to thank me for!

i’m just doing what anyone should do

thank YOU for making me stay

and not letting me keep being a self sacrificing dumbass

it wasn’t just me, you know

but it was mostly you

and i love you for that

you’re a fucking hero

you fight everyone’s battles just as hard as you fight your own

is that really a good thing?

it’s what makes you you

and sometimes it’s dangerous and maybe not the smartest

fair

but it’s you

you care so much, ben

thank you for being who you are

you’re going to have a great fucking birthday, yeah?

I sure as hell hope so!

thank you, sammy

I love you

i love you too

cronkite. brokaw.

…

Ben Arnold.

that’s the spirit.


	5. babe! it’s 4pm, time for you to cry over kfam friendships! yes honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> STEVENS
> 
> If anyone has to say they’re “phenomenal” that much, phenomenal they are not.
> 
> WRIGHT
> 
> I take offense to that, Shotgun-
> 
> STEVENS
> 
> Yes, that was the point of saying it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! this chapter isn't as long as some others but i hope you enjoy!!  
> on a serious note, though, all cops are BASTARDS. everyone should be aware of the horrible things happening to black people in the united states and all over the world. information and links to petitions to sign can be found [here](https://twitter.com/dykeangst/status/1265949457096548352?s=20) and [here](https://twitter.com/tpwkhollands/status/1265757092473954306?s=20). take care of yourselves and don't let up!

**sammy!!**

march 4, 7:22 p.m.

ben

where the fuck did you go

oh don’t freak out DAD

Lily and I are just…. getting something

if you’re putting more fucking animal crackers in the cart i’m going to kill you

I am not saying a word

benjamin noah arnold

yes father

jack in a box jesus

**from:** [ **lily.wright@wrighton.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@wrighton.org)

**to:** [ **pippa.james@wrighton.org** ](mailto:pippa.james@wrighton.org)

**subject:** hey

hey, pip.

i’m just checking in? i want to make sure you’re doing okay, and stuff. i’m sure you’re having a great time, actually! how is shannon? how’s that demon cat of yours? i know you’re fine. you deserve this quiet.

things have been okay, here, actually. it’s kind of nice. i- well, just recently, i moved in with ben arnold, the short one. and since sammy already moved in with _him_ (long story) i am now living with one sammy stevens. he helped me when i ~~drank too much again and you weren’t there to stop me~~ was in a bad place.

and, surprisingly, it isn’t as bad as you might have expected. i- well. i think we’re almost friends again.

i miss you, pippa. i’m glad you’re at home with shannon and the stupid cat you swear about and plans for the future.

~~i just wish you could do it here with me~~

i’ll come visit soon, yeah?

love,

lily

  
  


**short**

september 17, 6:01 a.m.

get off the air

my turn

6:04

sorry, sorry! we just ran a little over

you have a whole three hours to yourself Lily

I’m pretty sure a few lost minutes to your BEST FRIENDS isn’t that much of a loss

don’t push it, benny

you don’t get best friend status yet

oh, but Sammy does? makes sense

I guess you are like, actually siblings

first of all, not technically

second of all, he isn’t my best friend either! neither of you are! fuck you!

aren’t you on the air?

aren’t you driving?

Sammy is. I’m turning on your broadcast.

thank you!

ARE YOU READING MY TEXTS ON THE AIR

i’m glad the listening public likes us but that doesn’t mean you READ MY TEXTS OUT LOUD

also Sammy says your asshole meter is through the roof

NO THAT ISN’T A GOOD THING

IT’S NOT A COMPLIMENT, LILY

Sammy says we would call in but he doesn’t want to ruin the perfectly empty board

Sammy’s driving is fine, thank you. jack in a box Jesus

whatever. have fun on the air Lily

thx xoxo

  
  


[EXCERPT OF KING FALLS AM, OCTOBER 28, 2019]

BEN ARNOLD

Welcome back listeners, and thank you for hanging out with us tonight! We have about ten minutes left tonight before the… _alright_ journalist Lily Wright takes over-

LILY WRIGHT

I’m sitting right here, Benny.

ARNOLD

Ben.

WRIGHT

Semantics.

SAMMY STEVENS

I agree with Ben here-

WRIGHT

‘Course you do.

STEVENS

If anyone has to say they’re “phenomenal” _that_ much, phenomenal they are not.

WRIGHT

I take offense to that, Shotgun-

STEVENS

Yes, that was the point of saying it-

WRIGHT

But it’s fine. I won’t get into it. It’s still your segment, after all. Please. Carry on as if I am not even here.

STEVENS

Oh, like that’s easy when you never know how to shut your goddamn mouth.

[A BEAT]

ARNOLD

For those who aren’t with us in the station, Lily just zipped her lips and then threw the key away.

STEVENS

And now she flipped Ben off.

ARNOLD

That too.

STEVENS

Calls?

ARNOLD

(sigh) Yes! Let’s get some calls. You all know the drill. We’ve only got a few minutes here tonight, so call 424-279-3858 and we’ll talk about whatever’s clever.

STEVENS

Line eight, you are live with King Falls AM.

CYNTHIA HIGGENBAUM

My God, Benny, I can’t believe you have to deal with _two_ of them tonight.

ARNOLD

I- are you being homophobic or just a bitch?

HIGGENBAUM

(sharp) Watch your language! (suddenly sweet) I was just trying to sympathize with you, sweetie!

ARNOLD

Sure.

STEVENS

Hi, Cynthia. Did you have a reason for calling in tonight?

HIGGENBAUM

Don’t rush me, _Shotgun_! I’ll get to it when I get to it!

WRIGHT

 _Well_. I’m going to go get coffee. Jack, you want me to get you another cup?

[LONG BEAT]

WRIGHT (cont.)

Hello? Anyone home?

ARNOLD

Lily-

HIGGENBAUM

Your brother isn’t here, _Lily_ , so maybe get your head straight-

[DIAL TONE]

WRIGHT

Oh.

STEVENS

Lily-

WRIGHT

I’m just gonna go-

ARNOLD

No, don’t!

WRIGHT

What. What do you want. I’m sorry, okay, I didn’t realize-

ARNOLD

Do- do you think of me as-

WRIGHT

I _really_ do not want to get into this right now, actually, so-

STEVENS

Lily. It’s okay. Take a breath.

WRIGHT

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call you- to call you Jack.

ARNOLD

I just- are we really that much alike?

WRIGHT

(at the same time as STEVENS) Yes.

STEVENS

(at the same time as WRIGHT) No.

[A BEAT]

ARNOLD

Well, then.

STEVENS

Look. I know you two have some similarities but I just- I can’t look at you two the same way.

WRIGHT

You mean, you don’t want to fuck Ben.

STEVENS

(taken aback) Lily!

ARNOLD

This is why Cynthia hates us.

STEVENS

(spluttering) I mean- I-

ARNOLD

Sammy, you’re my brother. It’s fine.

STEVENS

(weakly) Yeah. Fine.

WRIGHT

What Stevens _isn’t_ talking about is that you two are both paranormal obsessed, stubborn little shits. Also, you were both Sammy’s producer at some point.

STEVENS

 _Look_. Ben, I admit it, you and Jack are alike. But. Lily. Do you think of Ben as a-

WRIGHT

 _Oh_ -kay, so I actually _did_ need that coffee, you know, and if Ben doesn’t want any, I guess I’ll just go-

ARNOLD

Lily, it’s okay. You know- you know I care about you. I love you.

WRIGHT

(subdued) I mean, who doesn’t, right?

ARNOLD

Lily.

WRIGHT

I know! (quiet) I know. It’s just. I don’t want to replace him.

STEVENS

It’s not replacing him, Lils-

WRIGHT

I know! It just… it feels like it is.

STEVENS

I know. Believe me, Lily. I know.

WRIGHT

Yeah.

ARNOLD

(carefully) Why- how are we alike? Besides the obvious.

STEVENS

Reckless as all hell.

WRIGHT

Obsessed with organization. For example, the notebooks.

STEVENS

Too smart for your own good.

WRIGHT

Stubborn. No one can tell you no.

STEVENS

Bad times are tough, but not tougher than you.

ARNOLD

Than _us_.

STEVENS

Yeah.

[A BEAT]

WRIGHT

The point is, Arnold, that I do care about you. I guess. Even though you’re stupid and tiny. 

STEVENS

Hey, that’s one difference: Jack was- _is_ tall.

WRIGHT

Shut up! I’m being nice! Everyone point and laugh!

ARNOLD

Thank you, Lily. That- that means a lot to me.

WRIGHT

Yeah, yeah, don’t push it. 

[A BEAT]

WRIGHT (cont.)

Well, _do_ you want that coffee?

ARNOLD

No, I’m okay. Thanks, though.

[RECEDING FOOTSTEPS]

ARNOLD (cont.)

Hey, Lily?

WRIGHT

What?

ARNOLD

For what it’s worth, I think you’re a great sister.

STEVENS

Seconded.

WRIGHT

(quiet) Thanks, guys.

[END EXCERPT]

**lils.**

february 27, 4:43 a.m.

did you leave me a fucking sticky note

what the fuck

don’t know what you’re talking about, lily

“take your meds asshole”

something tells me ben’s medium rage wasn’t anywhere near the level to call me an asshole. he’s terrified of me

it’s great tbh

fine i left you a sticky note

you always forget

not always! fuck you

yeah but often enough. did you remember this time?

i mean. yes? what would you expect?

then it worked

even though you called me an asshole

you say this like i don’t call you an asshole on the regular

fair point,

i don’t think ben knows how far you are from medium rage though

it’s not even five am and i’ve been sworn at by a piece of paper

ben arnold, i am not

you can say that again

**from:** [ **pippa.james@wrighton.org** ](mailto:pippa.james@wrighton.org)

**to:** [ **lily.wright@wrighton.org** ](mailto:lily.wright@wrighton.org)

**subject:** hey

you can text me, you know that, right? you don’t have to email.

i miss you too.

**total babe**

october 28, 9:26 a.m.

Hey, Lily! Ben told me that you guys talked a bit today

I actually slept tonight because I have work today, but I’m really glad you guys worked some things out!! <3

I’m proud of you, Lils.

thanks, em

that means a lot, really

did he tell you exactly what happened?

Well, he flopped on my couch and said something about you seeing him as your brother? So, I rolled with it.

how do you ever understand him

I manage! =D

but yeah. i accidentally called him jack lmao

Oh

it’s okay, really! don’t worry we talked

i guess i care for the little shit more than originally intended

I think that’s just Ben Arnold for you, isn’t it?

yeah, i guess it is.

Well, I love you too, Lily! You’re one of my best friends and I care about you a lot.

you’re one of the best people i know, emily potter. thank you

<3

<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello gay people i have been thinking about doing a chapter that is just one long transcript bc i love writing them? would u enjoy this? let me know in the comments or u can say hi on twitter @lcvelaces! thank u for reading <3


End file.
